


The Relationship Road-trip Revaluation

by TriplePirouette



Category: Big Bang Theory
Genre: F/M, Foof
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-22
Updated: 2011-05-22
Packaged: 2017-10-29 22:29:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/324869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TriplePirouette/pseuds/TriplePirouette
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sheldon commissions Penny to help him bail out the rest of the group in Vegas. It was supposed to be a four hour trip, but things don't quite go as planned.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Relationship Road-trip Revaluation

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lauran41](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lauran41/gifts).



> Originally posted 5/22/2011 and has not been edited since.
> 
> This is LJ's trippy41's help_japan fic. She asked for a Penny/Sheldon roadtrip fic where they needed to go to Las Vegas to bail the guys out of jail. Hope she enjoys (especially since she wrote me an awesome fic, too!) Also, please note that I live in NJ and have never been to any place further west than Michigan, so this is allll made up (even after playing with google maps!) including the very little police procedure I've put in there. Totally fake.
> 
> I'd also like to publicly apologize for this taking so long. I had sent it off to beta then forgotten about it. When I realized what had happened, I wanted to post it asap, so it has not been beta'd unfortunately. Thanks to trippy41 for not only being so cool about how late it is, but for always leaving helpful tips on my LJ entries! My first few months here have been more fun because of you!

  
  
Pasadena, Los Angeles, California to Las Vegas, Nevada   
  
256 miles   
  
4 hours and 11 minutes via I-15 North   
  
5 hours and 30 minutes in traffic   
  
An eternity with Doctor Sheldon Cooper as your passenger.   
  
= = = =    
  
As soon as I heard the knocks I knew I was in trouble. Then my name, and by the timber of his voice I knew it wasn't quite his run-of-the-mill, everyday crazy. I stood right behind the door, waiting for the last of the knocks and the very last-   
  
“Penny!”   
  
Even though I was quite sure something was wrong, I smiled as I opened the door anyway. “Yes, Sheldon?” I was in an exceptionally good mood today, nothing was going to bring me down.    
  
“We need to go to Las Vegas. Leonard needs to be bailed out of jail.”   
  
Except that.    
  
= = = =    
** Distance traveled: -2 miles   
Time: 8:22 pm   
Time traveled: 15 minutes   
Current location: The 7Eleven down the street.  **   
  
“Sheldon, you said we needed to go now,” I huff out as he finally gets back into the car. I turn the key and roar it to life, he jumps a little, but I ignore his stare.    
  
“Penny, you wouldn't allow me to stop and create a travel plan,” he gripped the edge of the dashboard, but didn't say anything about my driving. Perhaps I've punched him in the throat one too many times. “Besides, you can't have a long car trip without snacks. One must have appropriate snacks for a car trip.” He lifted up a package of Red Vines and a bag of Pop Chips with a self satisfied smile. “Now you know where you're going?”   
  
“Yes!” He'd spent nearly five minutes rambling some long winded, urgent sounding mumbo jumbo about Leonard and Howard and Raj all being in jail at my door, then all of a sudden he wants to stop to make a travel plan, or sit at 7Eleven's parking lot talking about snacks? “Sheldon, I thought this was important!”   
  
He looks at me like I've grown a third head. “It is! We need to pick up Leonard, Howard and Raj within  the next twelve hours. If not, they'll be officially processed and then require bail, not a simple fine.”   
  
I shook my head, focusing on the traffic at the intersection in front of me, waiting to make the turn back onto the main road. “And why are they in jail again?”    
  
“They got caught in a Glee flashmob that somehow turned into an unlawful protest.” He ripped open the Red Vines and pulled one out, but didn't offer me one. “Personally I would have avoided the people singing show tunes, but apparently Raj had one too many grasshoppers and thought it would be a fun way to get to the next casino.”    
  
“And why were they in Las Vegas again?” I asked, stopping at a red light. I reached out and grabbed Red Vine, letting it sit between my teeth as the traffic started up again.    
  
“God only knows. I'm assuming a desire to engage in drunken debauchery, but more likely they're acting on misguided impulses led by less than trustworthy parts of their anatomy.”   
  
I sigh, this is going to be a long trip. “You mean they were thinking with their dicks?”   
  
Sheldon's mouth scrunched up and he turned away. “You could say that, too.”    
  
= = = =    
** Distance traveled: 20 miles   
Time: 8:52 pm   
Time traveled: 45 minutes   
Current location: I-210 East **   
  
We're only on I-210, we're only 20 minutes in, and already he's found something to completely and positively annoy me with.    
  
“Penny, I'm sorry, I cannot condone it!” He slams my Twilight book down on the arm rest between us. “I mean, how can you read it?”    
  
“Sheldon, it's good! And it's just fun... I mean, have you tried to read it?” I desperately try to not gun the engine as he intentionally goads me, though getting to Las Vegas even a minute sooner is a very welcome idea right about now. I can feel his ire from here, and though I don't turn my head, I can imagine the face he's making.    
  
“Have I... Have I! Of course I have not attempted to read this drivel! This is a young adult novel, Penny! I was reading at a young adult level by the time I was in first grade. Have I read it yet... you might as well have just asked me if I read my horoscope this morning!”   
  
My horoscope said that I'd be met with great trails today. I didn't believe it. I guess it was right. “Sheldon,” I take a deep breath, remembering that I am talking to one of the most brilliant minds in the country, even if he is an ass sometimes, “I don't read it because it's brilliant literature or anything, I mean, Stephanie Meyer is obviously no Shakespeare, but it's fun, and easy, and light.”   
  
He tisks in the back of his throat. “Tell me this then, because I truly don't understand the appeal of a vampire that sparkles and goes to High School. Why do you enjoy it?”   
  
I cut over a lane and give the guy who was tailgating me the finger as he passes. “Jerk,” I mutter under my breath. Turning back to Sheldon, I glance at him then back to the road. “Well, it's like, just a fun fantasy. I mean, every High School girl feels like she's under appreciated, and every one wants to feel special. It's a story about that, and it's just an easy read to kind of take me away from real life.”   
  
“But why sparkles?” he asked, “I was involved with an unfortunate crafting accident when I was 12 resulting in my face being covered with an astounding amount of glitter for a week, not once did I get a positive response from females, but I was the recipient of twenty percent more wedgies and ten percent more swirlies, with an astounding ninety-eight percent rise in taunts and name calling.”    
  
“Aww, sweetie!”   
  
“While I appreciate your empathy, I'd still like an answer to my question...” His voice rose, “And for you to not hit the tractor trailer- watch! Slow Down, slow down!”   
  
Perfectly in control of the car, I swerve into the left lane and pass the ridiculously slow truck in front of us.  At least when he's hyperventilating, Sheldon isn't talking.   
  
= = = =    
** Distance traveled: 47 miles   
Time: 9:10 pm   
Time traveled: 1 hour 3 minutes   
Current location: I-210 East **   
  
Three hours, there are only three hours left.    
  
“Penny, I really have some issues with this narrative.”   
  
Just three hours. Then I can force Leonard to drive and I can go to sleep in the back seat with my iPod in and not have to listen to him anymore.    
  
“For instance, this young narrator, Bella, is inferring that neither of her parents are of sound mind and body enough to take care of themselves, but offers no evidence of that. Furthermore, she treats her father as if he's incapable of doing anything for himself, yet he's the town's sheriff.”   
  
He'd stopped hyperventilating and started on Twilight again. I told him that he couldn't criticize it unless he read it, hoping that would be the end of it.    
  
But he started reading.    
  
“I also don't agree with this-”   
  
“Give me a Red Vine, Sheldon.” I growl out, holding out my right hand out to him, my eyes tight on the road ahead of me.   
  
He hands me one. “And I-” His sentence deteriorates as I start thrashing at him with the Red Vine. “Hey! Hey! Ow! Stop!”   
  
I do, handing him back the candy. “Put that in your mouth and stop talking.”    
  
He looks at it like the strip of wax and flavoring is going to grow a head and bite him at any moment. “But, you touched it.”   
  
“And you touched it first. Now quiet.”   
  
I'm going to kill him.    
  
= = = =    
** Distance traveled: 50 miles   
Time: 9:15 pm   
Time traveled: 1 hour 7 minutes   
Current location: The I-15 interchange **   
  
“Penny, you have to slow down, if you hit that interchange-”   
  
“Shut up, Sheldon.”   
  
“But it's a physical impossibility-”   
  
“Shut up, Sheldon.”   
  
“You're going to run us off the-”   
  
“I've got this, Sheldon!”   
  
“No you... Oh, ok. I guess you did. But at the speed you were going, it was a physical improbability that-”    
  
“Eat a Red Vine, Sheldon.”   
  
“Right.”   
  
= = = =    
** Distance traveled: 80 miles   
Time: 9:45 pm   
Time traveled: 1 hour 37 minutes   
Current location: I-15 North **   
  
Sheldon has been blissfully quiet for the last half hour, doodling and mumbling to himself things that I can only assume are related to his work on his phone. I've been trying very hard to stay within speed limits and obey all of the traffic laws.    
  
I shouldn't be snapping at Sheldon like I have been, but I can't help it. I was having such a great day, and I was planning a quiet, blissful night to myself with a pint of ice cream and a Johnny Depp movie marathon. Lately all the boys have been is trouble. Loud noises and science experiments, odd associates and confusing anecdotes.     
  
It's become harder for me to be around them, too. I've been coming to terms with my broken acting career more and more, and it's hard to feel important and worth while when your most reliable friends are literally some of the brightest minds in the country. It makes me feel... small. The most significant contribution I make on a daily basis is remembering to bring a table their ketchup without asking, and my neighbors are sending things into space!    
  
It doesn't help that I'm starting to see Sheldon as... more than a friend. That I'm starting to think that I might want... more. How can anyone as smart as he is want more with someone whose higher education is a course in cheesecake creation?   
  
Tonight was supposed to be my night, no boys, no silly video games, no math or science...    
  
...no big words that make my heart skip a beat...   
  
...no self-assured statements that make it so hard to see him as anything less than dominant...   
  
...no Sheldon...   
  
And here I am, stuck in a car with him for more than four hours. At least he's kept that maddening, self-assured, dominant, refreshing, interesting, amazing mouth shut.    
  
“Hey, Penny...”   
  
Or not.    
  
= = = =    
** Distance traveled: 92 miles   
Time: 10:00 pm   
Time traveled: 1 hour 44 minutes   
Current location: Rest stop off of I-210 North **   
  
We've stopped for a break, though Sheldon apparently had to disinfect the entire bathroom before he would use it, producing a roll of paper towels, gloves, and a bottle of spray bleach he picked up at the 7Eleven.    
  
He's been in there for almost five minutes now, and counting.    
  
I check my phone. No new texts, a few spam e-mails. Nothing exciting. Nothing new.    
  
I could be watching Sleepy Hollow right now. Or Edward Scissorhands.    
  
Instead I'm living Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.    
  
Alright, it's not that bad. Hasn't been. He's been unnaturally quiet since he threw down Twilight with disgust and picked up his iPhone.    
  
He comes back out with his little bag of cleaning products. “Well, that's the cleanest that bathroom has been in several decades.” He joins me leaning against the side of my car.    
  
“Ladies Room was pretty clean...”   
  
“Teaming with invisible germs and grime. Here.” He produces a small bottle of hand sanitizer and lets a dollop fall into my hands. “Shall we continue?”    
  
We get back into the car and drive into the night.    
  
= = = =    
** Distance traveled: 104 miles   
Time: 10:20 pm   
Time traveled: 2 hours 3 minutes   
Current location: Gas station off of I-210 North **   
  
I'm screwing the cap back on the gas tank when Sheldon comes back out of the small convenience store. “I'm sorry Penny, they're not brewing any more coffee, and I would not let a dog drink the sludge they've got set out from the last time they brewed, which, from the smell of it, seems to be last month some time. They're also very light on beverages of the non-alcoholic variety. I was able to procure a bottle of water and a bottle of what seems to be a cola substitute before the man behind the counter kicked me out. I'm pretty sure he was doing something illegal in the back room.” He makes a face as he gets back in the car, sliding in quietly.    
  
I slide in and start the engine, looking at the fake cola he hands me. It's not a brand I've ever seen and when I look at the ingredients all I see are big, long, chemically words. “Um, do you think this has caffeine in it?”    
  
Sheldon takes it back and I take the opportunity to pull out of the tiny gas station and onto the side street that will take me back to the highway as he scans the ingredients. “Oh dear,” without another word he rolls the window down and tosses the bottle out into the desert.    
  
“What did you do that for?” I screech, thinking about the precious caffeine slipping away into the night, while ahead of my lies at least two more hours of driving in the dark with only yellow lines to guide me.    
  
“You don't want to drink that.” His words are flat and sure.    
  
“I don't?” Because I really think I did.    
  
“You don't.”   
  
And the way he says it this time, I'm sure I don't.    
  
= = = =    
** Distance traveled: 126 miles   
Time: 11:35 pm    
Time traveled: 3 hours 18 minutes   
Current location: bumper to bumper traffic on I-210 North **   
  
We haven't moved an inch in forty five minutes. I turned off my car a half hour ago. We might as well be at the world's most boring drive in movie.    
  
Sheldon has been amazingly calm, though giving him the task of trying to find out what is going on has kept him very busy. “According to Google Maps, there is roadwork about 7 miles ahead, leaving only one lane open.”    
  
“That shouldn't shut down the road like this.” I watch another police car travel up the side of the road, the lights illuminating us in red and blue for a second before it's past us and gone.    
  
“Well, according to Google Buzz-”   
  
“What's that, like Google for bees?”   
  
He shakes his head in the moonlight, “Think more like Twitter.”   
  
“Got it.”   
  
“Anyway, a motorist about five miles up states that the construction has apparently hit a snag.”   
  
“A snag?”   
  
“MillerMom43: 'Burst water pipe, hope everyone brought their surfboard. Cowabunga.' According to a few other buzzes, we're likely in for several hours delay.”   
  
My heart sank. The moon is high and bright, and if I were home I might not even be tired, but the road has been hypnotizing, and not that Sheldon's putting me to sleep, but there's something about his presence that makes me think it would be all right to just take a tiny, little, small nap...   
  
...curled up in his lap.    
  
But several hours?   
  
“Are we going to make it to Vegas in time? What about Leonard and Howard and Raj?”    
  
Sheldon shrugged, and suddenly his bony shoulders seemed like the softest pillow in the world. “We left less than twenty minutes after they called, we have plenty of time unless we're stuck here for more than eight hours, which I think is extremely unlikely.”    
  
My head hit the steering wheel with an audible thump. Sheldon just read more Google for bees aloud.    
  
= = = =    
** Distance traveled: 126 miles None. Not a single inch.    
Time: 12:18 am    
Time traveled: 4 hours 1 minutes   
Current location: bumper to bumper traffic on 1-210 North Same freakin' place as before **   
  
Sheldon's been going a mile a minute following the “action” on his iPhone.  “Cars up front seem to think that the State Police are setting up some kind of detour, but the official website for the state and highway are still just saying to avoid the interstate due to traffic.” His long fingers swipe the glowing screen, my eyes are half closed in the dark of the car. “All the entrances to the interstate have been closed.” My eyes close for only a second. “We should have brought more Red Vines.”   
  
I blink them open again and he's holding up the empty wrapper, void of any of the delicious whips. I don't mind listening to him ramble, it's better than the sleepy drone of the guy on the AM traffic station telling us to stay in our cars and that we will be “moving shorty.” Shortly, my ass.   
  
“Oh look, we're on the news!” Sheldon very nearly smiles as he passes over his phone, showing me a clip of a local news cast with helicopter footage where you can clearly see my car. I smile a little and pass it back.    
  
It's too quiet out here, stuck with all of the other cars in the middle of the desert. The police vehicles have stopped passing, and almost everyone has turned their cars off. It's like a scene out of a B-rated Zombie movie- we're just like sitting ducks.    
  
“Hey Sheldon?” I'm not scared, I'm not scared, I'm not scared...   
  
“Yes?” He's back to scrolling through his iPhone and barely looks over. He's so confident sitting over there. He's not scared. Even if this is the zombie apocalypse, or if dinosaurs start crashing through the rows or cars, or any of another billion things, he'd know what to do. He would. I'm safe with Sheldon.    
  
“Never mind.”    
  
= = = =    
** Distance traveled: A few miles? Hundreds? Thousands? Lightyears?    
Time: 1:02 am    
Time traveled: 4 hours 46 minutes   
** **Current location: Only God and Sheldon know...**     
  
I'd finally fallen into a fit full sleep when Sheldon shook me awake. The State Troopers had been slowly detouring people around whatever catastrophe was ahead and we could see the cars in front of us starting up and taillights flashing with hope.    
  
Within twenty minutes we were moving, sliding into a line that was outlined in red flares and bright orange cones that took us onto the side of the road, rolling along like a little line of... of... cars into the desert. I open my eyes wide, focusing on following the rest of the cars through the detour. Sheldon taps me on the shoulder. “Here.”   
  
I look over at him briefly and see that he's holding out a lone Red Vine. “I thought we were out?”   
  
He looks away, almost ashamed, and I turn back to the road, intent on the taillights in front of me as we turn onto what looks like an access road tended to by cavemen. “We were down to one. Initially I was going to consume it at our next rest stop, but seeing as it is currently our only source of even temporary energy for you in the form of sugar, and seeing as how you are the only person currently able to drive the car while I navigate, you need it more than I do.    
  
The traffic in front of me stops, and I take the chance to smile at Sheldon while I take the candy from him. “Thanks, Sheldon. I appreciate it.” I pop it into my mouth, letting it sit rather then chew, focusing on the flavor and the sensation as we start moving again. “We'll find a rest stop soon. I think my gas gauge is broken, but I'm sure we are going to be low after just running the engine for so long. And we can get some more snacks. And caffeine. Lots of caffeine.”   
  
The car is quiet while I think about espresso and lattes and Red Bulls and chocolate covered coffee beans until he speaks again. “Thank you, Penny.” His voice is almost sweet, and not nearly what I'm used to from him.    
  
I can't be serious right now, I can't. “You're welcome, sweetie. We'll get you as many Red Vines as you want.” It's so much easier to play it off, let it fall away. I don't want to be serious with him, because being serious means thinking about so many things that I really, really....    
  
And all of a sudden the line of cars nearly vanishes as the detour deteriorates into an asterisk of roads, the vehicles in front of me splitting all different ways and not one flare or officer to be found. I feel panic rise up. “Sheldon? Sheldon!”    
  
He doesn't even look up, but his fingers seem to go a little faster in my peripheral vision. “Make a left, we've been steadily been heading east of the interstate, we need to head back towards it. I'll have our GPS location in no time.”    
  
= = = =    
** Distance traveled: We've circled the world twice   
Time: 2:25 AM   
Time traveled: We travel, we stop, we travel, we stop... what time did we leave again?    
Current location: I'd say a black hole, but Sheldon would have a few things to say about that...  **   
  
We're in the middle of nowhere when we run out of gas.    
  
Yes, we run out of gas.    
  
And yes, when I say 'nowhere' I mean nowhere as in some dark, bleak road without light poles that only has a number, not a name, and is barely more than packed dirt in the middle of the desert and dear GOD did I just see a tumbleweed blow past us?   
  
We come to a slow, coughing stop.    
  
Sheldon licks his lips nervously before he speaks, the only light coming from the navigation on his phone. “Please tell me that you need to relieve yourself or have some other reason why we've stopped that doesn't include the words 'we've run out of gas.'”   
  
He turns his head slowly towards me and I crumble. I feel my bottom lip quivering and it's dark out and I can barely see him. “Guess my gas gauge is more broken than I thought.”    
  
Maybe it was my voice: even I could tell that it was small and pitiful, full of sleep and frustration. Maybe it was that it was far past his bedtime, too. Maybe he just didn't have any fight left in him tonight. A few quick swipes of his fingers and he was on the phone with Triple A, giving them coordinates and route numbers.    
  
“Maybe an hour,” he mumbles as he gets off the phone with them. The screen goes dark, and the only thing I can see is the moon, hanging low in the sky through the windshield.  At least this means he can't see the tears in my eyes. “Why are you crying?”    
  
Or maybe he can.    
  
I swipe them away quickly, dropping my head to the steering wheel. “I'm tired,” I start. It's not a lie. It is absolutely, very, very true. I am beyond tired. I am exhausted. “And I hate my life!”   
  
Before I know it I'm blubbering into the darkness, emboldened by the fact that I feel like he can't see me, even though I knew he can. The words pour out and it doesn't matter, because he'll only just agree that my life sucks and that I'm inferior and...   
  
“Please stop crying, Penny.” His hands are flurrying around me and there's a note of panic in his voice. “Please. I know that you are very tired and that can completely upset your brain chemistry, and perhaps your acting career isn't quite the path you'd hoped for but... please stop crying.”   
  
His concern is what stops me, stops my rambling about manicures and hair styles and the lack of a Walmart around us. “Why do you care? You're just going to tell me that I'm some dumb waitress who didn't even go to community college.”    
  
He pulls his arms back, looking at me like I've grown a third head. “I suppose I deserve that. But I will have you know that I do care. Why would I have made room for you in my life if I had not?” He took a deep breath, pulling out a small packet of tissues and passing them to me. “I care quite a lot, Penny. I must admit that you often frustrate me, but it is rare that anything but science challenges me anymore. Sure, I find movies and video games a compelling pass time, but they're little more than applied science. You are... forgive me but the best word I can come up with is wild. You are like a force of nature in the best sense. Unpredictable, like a quark before we knew what to make of it, or like light before we understood that it behaved like particles and waves. I can't easily figure you out, and it bewilders and intrigues me.”   
  
I stare. Wide eyed. I feel like one of those plastic singing fish once the batteries go dead, my jaw hanging wide open.    
  
“Please don't cry, Penny.”    
  
And that's when I kiss him.    
  
= = = =    
** Distance traveled: across the front seat   
Time: stopped   
Time traveled: I didn't reach 88 mph, my car only hits 65 before it starts to shake    
Current location: halfway in Sheldon's lap   
**   
His lips are soft, and they don't yield to mine right away, but I'm on top of him before he can get the chance to object. I'm tired, I'm vulnerable, and more and more I've been seeing the man beneath me in a different light that even I can't explain.    
  
He tastes sweet, the tiny deposits of waxy candy sitting in the ridges of his teeth coming to life under my tongue.    
  
I pull away, his hands fall softly to my hips. I can only see the shadow of his face in the dark and all of a sudden my confidence fades. He said he cares, he said he cares...   
  
...but maybe not like that...    
  
“Alright,” he says softly, and then his lips are back on mine.    
  
= = = =    
** Distance traveled: To comfy to move...   
Time: huh?    
Time traveled: Talk to that Doctor guy Sheldon likes, not me about time travel   
Current location: snuggled up in Sheldon's lap   
**   
His shoulder was just as comfortable as I was hoping. His body is warm in the cold desert night. I didn't realize how cold it was until I was wrapped against him, the warmth from his skin  seeping into mine.    
  
We'd kissed for what seemed like ever, but could really have been no more than a few minutes. It was soft, gentle, and oh so different than I ever expected. He didn't push me away, or freak out about germs, or scream. He simply shifted a bit until I had both my legs slung over his and my head was resting on his shoulder. “They said they'd be here in an hour and I doubt they'll be early. Get some sleep.”   
  
And in his lap I felt safer from zombies, dinosaurs, or evil axe murderers roaming the desert than I ever did a foot and a half away in the driver's seat.    
  
= = = =    
** Distance traveled: none. Not a freakin' inch since last night   
Time: 5:45 am    
Time traveled: Two and a half hours of deep, blissful sleep   
Current location: side of the godforsaken road we've been on all night **   
  
Sheldon and I woke up to foggy windows being tapped on by an unkempt guy with a tow truck an hour and a half late as the sun crept through the sky.    
  
I pushed open the door and promptly fell out of the car into a tangled heap at the feet of the tow truck driver.    
  
“Catch you two at a bad time?” The suggestive tone he brandishes isn't welcome or desired by either of us.    
  
“Bad time? Bad time!” Sheldon's voice rises up as he slowly unfolds his lanky frame from the car, reaching out a hand to help me up, which isn't easy considering my left leg has fallen painfully asleep. “You, sir, are over an hour late.”   
  
Sheldon and the tow truck driver got into a lovely back and forth, most of which I drown out as I tried to shake some feeling back into my leg. I scrub at my eyes and hobble between them. “You,” I pointed at Sheldon, “shut up. You,” I tried to be considerably nicer to the tow truck driver, considering he could leave us out here if he wanted, “I seem to have a faulty gas gauge, so if you can get us enough to get to the nearest gas station, that would be great.”    
  
And caffeine. Lots. Of. Caffeine.    
  
Sheldon starts to say something about the man's job, and I have no tolerance for anything this early. I shove my hand in his face, two of my fingers pushing between his lips and fitting up against his clenched teeth with the force of my arm. I turn, shush him, and then smile tightly at the man who is hauling a bright red gas can from his truck.    
  
= = = =    
** Distance traveled: Who even cares anymore   
Time: 6:12 am    
Time traveled: all freakin' night   
Current location: gas station just off the I-15 **   
  
Sheldon's plugged his iPhone into the cigarette lighter and got us to the nearest gas station quick enough. He went off to find the bathroom with his trusty bleach while I filled up the tank. Coming back from my own trip to the bathroom, I find him holding a huge beverage out to me, a tight smile on his lips.    
  
“It's the largest coffee that you can buy in there. With some quick math based on the average size you usually drink in the morning and the one milk and three sugars you take, this should be appropriately flavored.” He holds it straight out to me, slightly stiffer than I'm used to.    
  
I take it and gulp the hot liquid gratefully. Oh, sweet, blessed caffeine, how I missed you. Just the smell, the taste- I know I'm an addict, but I don't care. I already feel my mood turning. “Thank you, Sheldon.”    
  
He nods and smiles shyly, pulling a bottle of juice out of the bag in his left hand. “You're welcome.”  We eye each other, not quite sure where to go from here.    
  
I know that I want to kiss him again. I don't know if he wants to kiss me.    
  
It would be very easy to blame it all on the circumstance, the insanity of the night... but I'm a girl who usually gets what she wants.    
  
I step forward, kiss him on the cheek, then quickly retreat to my side of the car. “Let's go get the guys.”   
  
He thinks I don't see his hand move up to the cheek I kissed before he gets in the car, but I do.    
  
= = = =    
** Distance traveled: All of it.    
Time: 8:10 am   
Time traveled: 11 hours 50 minutes   
Current location: Vegas. Finally.  **   
  
The Vegas sun is hot and it only adds to the slightly scummy feeling I have after sleeping in my clothes last night in my car. The fact that I smell just slightly like Sheldon doesn't bother me, though. I lean back against the car and look up, letting the rays of the sun hit my face- I'll be stuck back in the car for four hours shortly, so I want to take it while I can get it. Spring has barely sprung and it's still not quite this nice in Pasadena. Sheldon leads the small group out of the building, and despite Leonard's hang-dog look, Raj's confusion and Howard's ridiculous flirtatiousness, they are not getting out of this.    
  
I toss the keys over at Leonard, pulling open the back door with every intention of getting in, pulling Sheldon's softer-than-it-looks shoulder beside me, and sleeping for the next four and a half hours. “You're driving.”   
  
“Where?” He asks, looking at the keys, bewildered.    
  
I feel rage rise through me as I turn, letting the door slam. “To Oz! Where do you think? We drove all freakin' night! You drive home!”  I'm standing beside Sheldon, screaming at the group that looks like an odd kind of three stooges in the dry Vegas heat. “We were stuck on the interstate, we slept in the car when we ran out of gas-”   
  
“Sheldon pulled that old number?” Howard jokes, but four murderous eyes on him stop him before he spouts another one-liner.    
  
It doesn't stop my rant, “-And you have the audacity to ask where we're going? I dropped everything to come help you guys and you didn't even say thank you to me!”    
  
Raj nods sadly. I have the feeling if he could talk, he'd be thanking us profusely. Leonard is far too practical for that, though. “Well, I mean, thanks for coming out, but-”   
  
“But?” Sheldon has actually put his hand on my shoulder to hold me back. I rip my sunglasses off, letting them see the dark purple circles under my eyes. “But nothing! You called, asked to be bailed out, we come and there's a 'but'?    
  
“But my car's at the hotel.”   
  
In retrospect it was probably a bad idea to take a swipe at Leonard in front of a police station, but Sheldon was quicker than I was and had me around the waist, my arms and legs flailing at my former boyfriend before the stares of the policemen watching us help me find some composure.    
  
Sheldon doesn't let go. I don't want him to. I rest my hands on his where they sit on my stomach and if the guys are surprised it doesn't register, though they seem to still be shying away from me. I can feel the uncertainty coming off of Sheldon in waves; in a weird way, it grounds me.    
  
“It's alright, Penny,” Sheldon whispers over my shoulder as our 'friends' finally start to step closer, “they didn't say thank you to me, either.” Something about the resignation in his words enrages me all over again.    
  
I break free of Sheldon's grip and snatch my keys from Leonard. “You're unbelievable. All of you.” No need for caffeine now, I have anger and frustration. “Come on Sheldon.” I grab his hand and pull him back to the car, and with no thought to it, only instinct, I turn and look at the three men, my hands at my temples.    
  
Sheldon takes one look and joins me.    
  
Though we don't succeed in making their heads explode, we do leave them standing on the sidewalk in our dust.    
  
= = = =    
** Distance traveled: I can still see the police station in the rear-view mirror   
Time: 8:13 am   
Time traveled: I can't even fathom trying to count right now.    
Current location: On our way home.    
**   
I'm fuming, actually fuming. My knuckles are turning white as I grip the steering wheel. We're stopped at a red light when Sheldon's hand ghosts over mine before it falls back to his lap.    
  
“Being this tense is not good for your overall health, especially after the last twelve hours. It would reassure me quite a bit if you relaxed your grip and took a few deep breaths.”    
  
I spare a look at him as the light turns green, and try to visibly relax. He looks just like he always does, not upset, not frustrated, just Sheldon. And that does nothing to actually help me relax.    
  
“Sheldon, aren't you pissed? Upset? Annoyed? At all?”    
  
He looks over at me, I can see the movement out of the corner of my eye but I keep them glued firmly to the road. His voice is flat and even. “They asked us to come bail them out, which we did. I had assumed they'd want to return with us, which is my own fault. I did not think about Leonard's car.”   
  
I make a few frustrated noises, I have so much I want to say, but I don't know how to make it come out in a coherent argument. He guesses where I'm going before I even get there.    
  
“It has not been my experience to ever be thanked by them, Penny. Perhaps they are thankful, or feel some degree of gratitude, but I can only hope it shows in our future interactions, because they rarely, if ever, acknowledge any assistance on my part. I do have to say that I thought they'd be a little bit more conciliatory towards you, though.”   
  
I want to scream, but I think I'll scare him. The adrenaline high is wearing off, and the heat of the day, even with the air going full blast, is making my eyes droop. I take a few deep breaths and reach over, dropping my hand on Sheldon's wrist. “Can you find a hotel nearby? I know you don't want to drive the highways, and I'm not going to be able to keep my eyes open much longer.”   
  
He pats my hand, but doesn't make to move it from his wrist. In the corner of my eye I can see him worriedly making sure my left hand is tight on the wheel, but he pulls out his iPhone with his right and navigates quickly with his thumb.    
  
Soon, he's navigating me to a local motor lodge.    
  
= = = =    
** Distance traveled: About 20 feet from the parking space to the bed   
Time: it's light outside and my body is telling me it should be night   
Time traveled: too much, too too much.    
Current location: A blissful bed.  **   
  
Sheldon is hovering around me, checking the bed for any sign of bed bugs or stray hairs or any other of a million things. Before long he's picked up the bag he brought in with him and starts wiping things down with Clorox wipes.    
  
I'd just flopped in the middle of the bed, Sheldon has been working around me. With everything I have, I force my eyes back open. “Left side or right?” I don't think the question makes it out of my mouth all the eloquently, what with my face squished into the comforter, but he yells out from the bathroom anyway.   
  
“Make yourself comfortable, Penny. I can sleep at any time.    
  
There's one bed, we're in a strange hotel, and Sheldon, king of making sure he gets what he wants, is asking nothing of me.    
  
Maybe it's love.    
  
It's easy to say that I don't actually feel anything for Sheldon. It becomes easy to to believe that I'm just putting him on a pedestal with every other guy I've dated – concentrating on the points I like, avoiding those that I don't. It is so easy to think that on a lonely night any shoulder is better than no shoulder at all.    
  
Except that would all be lies.   
  
He's rational, quiet, specific- never says a word he doesn't mean. He can't lie, but if he needs to in order to spare someone's feelings he'll go to outrageous extremes. He's a maddening mix of simple and complex, with a structure that he weaves his beautiful mind around.    
  
He's made room in his life for me, which is no small feat.    
  
Until last night, every thought of him as something more than just a challenging friend I enjoyed spending time with was really no more than idle fantasy. I had no illusions about his lack of libido, or his intentions. Kissing him last night is something I can barely even fathom doing right now, but I did it, and I'm glad.   
  
He didn't seam to have any objections, and if I pretend really hard, I can believe that he liked it. I know I did.    
  
As much as I want to know what will happen tomorrow, or even tonight, it will have to wait. I'm too tired to think about anything right now.     
  
= = = =    
** Distance traveled: None   
Time: sleepy time   
Time traveled: zzzzzzzz   
Current location: Still face-planted into a pillow **   
  
I'm shaken from sleep by the feeling of the cheep mattress shifting. Sheldon's quietly slipping in, still dressed except for his shoes, on the left side of the bed. I make an effort to shift to the right, leave him at least half of the bed, but as soon as I leave the patch of warmth that I've made for myself I shiver.    
  
Before I can even stop shaking, his arms wrap around me and he pulls me closer. He has me spooned into him, his arms covering my bare ones, his warm corduroy covered thighs up against the bare backs of my legs. “The air conditioner is broken,” he mumbles sleepily, “It is on it's lowest setting, but will not turn off or blow in any other direction. I'm sorry, but I cannot allow you to sleep beneath these sheets- on them is bad enough. Is this solution acceptable?”   
  
Something between a yes and a moan slips out as I burrow back into his warmth, my head fitting right under his chin. He's blocking the cold air from hitting me, and it is absolutely blissful.      
  
= = = =    
** Distance traveled: Maybe an inch   
Time: It's bright in the crack of the curtains, must be day   
Time traveled: None, none at all.    
Current location: I must be in an alternate universe, because this seems so surreal.  **   
  
It's my bladder that wakes me up this time, demanding that I do something about all the coffee that I drank this morning, but I don't move for a few seconds after I've blinked awake. It's too surreal to move. It was almost easy to believe that Sheldon wrapping me up in him last night was a dream, or a necessity after he lacked the equipment to reconfigure the air conditioner.   
  
But now he's not just holding me. His head is pillowed on my chest, his arms wrapped around my waist, and his legs are tangled up in mine. My hands slide down from over my head of their own accord and it takes everything I have to not stroke my fingers through his hair. He looks so soft, so gentle right now; so absolutely, incredibly vulnerable. If I didn't have to move (and dear Lord I have to move) I'd want to stay here forever.    
  
I slowly start to pull my legs from his, inching them up and out from around his long, spindly limbs. I instantly regret the loss of his warmth. As I start to move out of his arms, he shifts, sighs, and tightens his grip. “Penny....” he whines out in his sleep, obviously not wanting to lose his pillow.    
  
“I have to go to the bathroom, Sheldon,” I whisper into his ear, knowing any loud noise would wake him up, shattering this moment like a stone through a pane of stained glass. He nods and shifts away still mostly asleep, accepting that my reason is valid, even barely conscious.    
  
The bathroom is absolutely spotless. It crosses my mind that it's probably cleaner now than my bathroom at home. And then I realize that I have absolutely no desire to go anywhere near home.    
  
I'm still pissed at Leonard and I don't want whatever is going on between me and Sheldon to end.    
  
If I go home, I'll see Leonard (and Raj and Howard) and have to deal with the fury that is hiding just beneath the surface. When we go home, Sheldon will sleep in his own bed; not my car, and not in a bed we share because the motor lodge only has one-bed rooms available.    
  
I finish up and wash my hands, staring at myself as I listen to the toilet tank fill. It's just a raggedy hotel room on the outskirts of Vegas, but it's the best I've felt in months. My hair is scraggly and matted, and the comb of my fingers can only do so much. A little water and a little scrubbing and the last of my make-up is gone.    
  
I have maybe a couple more hours, and I'm going to make the most of it.    
  
Back in the forced dark of the room, Sheldon's taken to the center of the bed, his body a straight line, his hands resting in the middle of his chest. Give him a headdress and he'd look right at home in an Egyptian tomb. It brings a smile to my face. As soft as I can, I slip onto the bed, lift his arm, and pillow my head on his shoulder.    
  
When his arm falls back down, it holds tight instead of going limp. I smile, and suddenly I'm sleeping again.    
  
= = = =    
** Distance traveled: 6 inches to the left   
Time: 4:15 PM   
Time traveled: There's still about a four hour drive ahead of us   
Current location: Still in bed **   
  
This time, it's the smell of coffee and the sound of rustling paper that wakes me up. I'm spread over the entire bed, arms and legs all over and tangled in the rumpled comforter under them. I turn my head and there he is, like a vision out of some silly tv show or romance novel: Sheldon, sitting at the little two seater table, hidden behind a newspaper, his open juice sitting next to a steaming cup of coffee.    
  
I sit up, wipe the sleep out of my eyes, and just stare. “You're reading a newspaper?” Not exactly my finest moment, or sentence.    
  
“That shouldn't be surprising.” He turns the page, but doesn't look at me, still hidden.    
  
“I've just... never seen you read one before.” I scoot over to the edge of the bed and reach for the coffee.    
  
He dips the paper down, I can just see his eyes. “Point taken, I normally get my news through a myriad of online sources, and am thus paperless. I couldn't resist the charm of the printed word, though, when I saw this at the convenience store this morning. It's a small local paper, but incredibly informative.” He lifts the paper again, I drink my coffee. It's quiet for a few minutes, and I can't help but imagine a kitchen somewhere, him sitting at the table, me cooking, or, throwing something in a toaster, maybe. The caffeine hasn't hit my brain yet, and the image turns black and white with cardigans and pearls.    
  
I revel in it for a second, then take another deep gulp of coffee to wash it away.    
  
“No breakfast?”    
  
His head peaks over the newspaper again. “No, I did not know if you'd like to partake in breakfast, or dinner seeing as it is late afternoon. I have charted a course home, avoiding the still-disrupted I-15, of course. We also have several choices for food, breakfast or the more traditional dinner fare, ranging from drive-thrus to fine dining.”    
  
The newspaper went back up and I busied myself, figuring that was the end of it. I went over to the mirror, grabbing my purse on the way and up-ending it on the small bureau, pulling out the travel brush and setting to work to tame my hair. His voice almost startles me.    
  
“Penny?”   
  
He's still behind his paper, so I keep my gaze tightly at the mirror. “Hum?”    
  
“Perhaps, you would...” He stops, folds the paper, and I can feel him staring intently at me. “Penny, I would like to invite you to have dinner with me, properly, if you are so amenable to delaying our trip.”   
  
The brush falls from my hand and I fumble to pick it up. I turn, half my hair tamed and straight, the other half still messy and snarled. I can feel my mouth hanging open. “Sheldon, are you...”   
  
The question hangs lightly in the air. He smirks, stands, and clasps his hands behind his back as he approaches me. If I didn't know better I'd say he was about to lecture me about an error I made in string theory or something like that. “Considering our sleeping arrangements of late and our...dalliance-” that word makes me smile, despite his manner, “-in the car, it would be remiss of me as a gentleman if I did not ask you out on a proper date before requesting that we continue our relationship in the current paradigm.”    
  
I can't hide my smile as I reach up to kiss him. His hand stops my lips only an inch from his face. “Please do not continue until after you've brushed your teeth. You'll find a small travel tooth brush that I purchased this morning in the bathroom.”    
  
I kiss him anyway. He makes a face when I pull back, so I kiss him again.    
  
I think I'm going to enjoy the trip back. 


End file.
